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Valuing Freedom
Teri Beran Kulat • Sep 03, 2020

Spring 2018

Valuing Freedom


Have you heard of the "freedom-closeness dilemma"? In astrology, it's the Leo-Aquarius polarity. Leo representing the King, the status quo, security. When a society is stable, its members feel safe. Rules create clear boundaries. Within the boundaries of a healthy monarchy, there is lots of freedom. Yet the boundaries represent the limits. If a society/ culture/ kingdom become tyrannical, the Rebel will emerge. This archetype represents discontent, innovation, risk-taking action. Throwing off the shackles makes for good theater. Consider Les Miserables, Hamilton, even The Little Mermaid.

Looking at this on the personal level... As people, we grow. We mature. We change. One of our very basic survival needs includes being connected- to feel close to other humans. And yet, if that closeness robs us of our freedom, we will rebel. (Often, this dynamic plays out as a decision to get divorced. I see it all the time.)

A Picture Of Hand And Dove — Downers Grove, IL — T. B. Kulat

But what if that is just projection? What if we hold the keys to our own jail and can free ourselves?

In a marriage, a person may ask: Am I free to be who I truly am? Am I the victim of my circumstances or am I able to choose? Divorce, death and other traumatic events can force us to ask these questions. I do a lot of personal growth work and can acknowledge that the ability to choose comes in different forms. Recently, I was able to see the prison I had put myself in and let myself out with velocity.

Developmentally, as children, we experience closeness- the attachment process- which gives us an invisible belief system, our personal construct for safety and connection. But this can become stifling and confining. Traumatic events can create limiting beliefs to keep us safe. No matter what, growth will lead a person to question the limits that they have been operating under. As one becomes more conscious, one can choose to keep a limit or decide to let it go. Just because we've grown doesn't mean we have to ditch our entire value system. Maturity means taking responsibility for one's actions. And those actions generally reflect a person's value system.

Different people have different needs when it comes to freedom. May you find your fulcrum and experience both freedom and closeness.

Warmly,
Theresa

By Theresa Kulat 10 Jan, 2024
Affirmations have been a part of my life since 1986 when I did a retreat at the Cenacle Retreat Center and learned the scriptural basis for using the spoken word. “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7 Since then, I have seen affirmations “work” and “not work.” Visualization can make them more effective – sometimes. Another philosophy says do not be attached to the outcome. Something that seems true to me – when we affirm something, we align with it energetically. I like to think that, if our will is aligned with Divine Will, it manifests. If it doesn’t show up exactly as we wanted it to – well, that was not part of the Divine Plan. Looking from the heart – how do we interpret the “evidence” of whether or not it manifested? Here is an example. In 1998, I had been married for six years and left my law firm job to be primary parent to our three-year-old son. Looking for part-time teaching work, one of the applications had an essay question: Describe your vision of how you’d like your life to be.
Stamp — Downers Grove, IL — T. B. Kulat
By Teri Beran Kulat 30 Dec, 2021
In the beloved classic, A Christmas Carol, Ebenezer Scrooge travels to his past, to another person's present and to one of his futures. Not "THE" future - "A" future. After seeing the consequences of his actions, the consequences of the default way he had been operating, Scrooge decides to change. The story inspires us because he wakes up to how his behavior influences the lives of others. He releases the old way of being and embraces a new way. People flock by the hundreds to see productions of A Christmas Carol this time of year. I've seen it several times and still appreciate the magic of transformation. It is ART. And it has a scientific basis. Quantum field theory says that there are always multiple futures. I love Brian Greene and recommend watching The Elegant Universe on PBS based on his book of the same title. More and more people acknowledge the possibility that we live in a multi-verse, not a universe.
Flower Painting — Downers Grove, IL — T. B. Kulat
By Teri Beran Kulat 04 Sep, 2020
A BEAUTIFUL LEGACY By Theresa Beran Kulat Suburban Life Magazine January 2015 What carries on after we are gone? Our children? Grandchildren? A work of art? A business? A bank account? Charitable foundations? Garnering financial wealth to pass down to one’s children can be one form of legacy. Tradition-ally, that has been the case. If that’s your goal, you will probably seek out good financial advisors, read investment books and become proficient in saving and investing. Our country boasts plenty of folks who succeed at leaving money to their children. As you begin a new year, look at other forms of legacy. After retirement, my aunt took painting classes. Her works – mostly flowers and other still life images – evoke many beautiful feelings when I look at them. Her children and grandchildren get to enjoy them all the time. She left a beautiful legacy. Another form of legacy that I have witnessed flows from doing spiritual work. People who choose to do yoga, pray the rosary, or work a 12-step program to break dysfunctional cycles. Having been raised in high stress families where an unconscious future would have simply perpetrated pain, these people give their children and communities the opportunity for new healthy futures that otherwise would have been impossible.
Watermelons — Downers Grove, IL — T. B. Kulat
By Teri Beran Kulat 03 Sep, 2020
In 1925, during the famous Scopes Monkey Trial that took place in Tennessee, two famous lawyers, Clarence Darrow and William Jennings Bryan, got philosophical. Bryan once said: "I have observed the power of the watermelon seed. It has the power of drawing from the ground and through itself 200,000 times its weight. When you can tell me how it takes this material and, out of it, colors an outside surface beyond the imitation of art and then forms inside of it a white rind and within that again a red heart, thickly inlaid with black seeds, each one which in turn is capable of drawing through itself 200,000 times its weight - when you can explain to me the mystery of a watermelon, you can ask me to explain the mystery of God." The trial and the quote point to a tension between the "scientific objective" world and the "mysterious spiritual" world.
A Picture Of Blocks With Letters — Downers Grove, IL — T. B. Kulat
By Teri Beran Kulat 03 Sep, 2020
Spring 2020 Death = the End of a Cycle Please don't take this the wrong way but... everything alive eventually dies. We can use death as the impetus to honor life. Our planet operates on cycles within cycles within cycles. The Earth goes around the sun. The moon goes around the Earth. We breathe in and out constantly. Blood circulates through the circulatory system. I could go on and on with examples but I think you get what I mean. COVID-19 has killed our way of life. However you viewed life and experienced it before, it has fundamentally changed. Without enough test kits, people are living in fear. The lack of clear information has led people to panic and hoard. The chaos has settled down a bit where I live as local leaders work to keep communities informed and new voices emerge to bring us together. I have highlighted some of these resources below.
Grass And Mountains — Downers Grove, IL — T. B. Kulat
By Teri Beran Kulat 03 Sep, 2020
Fall 2017 The Legacy of Story "Who lives? Who dies? Who tells your story?" - Lin-Manuel Miranda in Hamilton, An American Musical Legacies take different forms... Financial legacy- leaving money to children or to charity- can easily be identified. Culturally, we take the passing of land and wealth through generations as a given. Artistic legacy- when a person's self-expression, be it painting, dancing, singing, or performing, influences others and inspires further development of beauty- also gets recognized. Professional legacy- when a person makes a mark on their field. As President of the Collaborative Law Institute of Illinois ("CLII") this year, I hope that I have a bit of a legacy.
Hands — Downers Grove, IL — T. B. Kulat
By Teri Beran Kulat 03 Sep, 2020
October 2016 Breadwinners & Caregivers Inside of me lives the Breadwinner and the Caregiver, two archetypes. Given the middle class suburban community I was brought up in, I connect my dad to the Breadwinner and my mom to the Caregiver. Harkening back to the hunter-gatherer times, Dad did his part to go out into the world- a lawyer who worked hard to put a roof over our heads, food on the table, new clothes, vacations, and college educations. Although he was a caring man, he did not concern himself with day-to-day tasks that kept our house functional. Harkening back to the hunter-gatherer times, Dad did his part to go out into the world- a lawyer who worked hard to put a roof over our heads, food on the table, new clothes, vacations, and college educations. Although he was a caring man, he did not concern himself with day-to-day tasks that kept our house functional.
Old Notebooks — Downers Grove, IL — T. B. Kulat
By Teri Beran Kulat 03 Sep, 2020
December 2015 Who Journals? In fourth grade, I got my first diary, a 4" x 6" hard book with a buckle lock and a pretty pink and yellow cover. In seventh grade, I had so much to say that I used sheets of notebook paper - 3 to 6 per day - to chronicle every detail. "Mary and I were going to go to White Hen with Sue but her brother came home so we walked over to Ann's house instead." A few months ago my mother found the pages while cleaning out a closet. As I grew up, my journaling activities got more mature. I have taken workshops and used journals in a variety of ways. So far, seventeen bound books are filled with "me writing to myself." I say that because - going back and reading them - many entries consist of a dialogue between what some would call my higher Self and me. Another tradition might label one of the speakers as my "ego." Journaling can be simple - just writing down what happened during the day or keeping a gratitude journal . It can be complex - check out Ira Progoff's Intensive Journal method. His methodology includes written dialogue, as well as expanding on meaningful images.
A Picture Of Heads Made With Gears — Downers Grove, IL — T. B. Kulat
By Teri Beran Kulat 21 Aug, 2020
May 11, 2018 This morning, I decided to come from JOY and DELIGHT. The day was great. Let’s go back to yesterday – I work as a Collaborative Lawyer. As such, I help divorcing people transition with dignity and respect. I get to work with other professionals who share the same commitment to transparency and healing. Usually, I love my job. Let’s go back to yesterday – I work as a Collaborative Lawyer. As such, I help divorcing people transition with dignity and respect. I get to work with other professionals who share the same commitment to transparency and healing. Usually, I love my job.
Rollercoaster — Downers Grove, IL — T. B. Kulat
By Teri Beran Kulat 20 Aug, 2020
December 2014 This one’s for the girls… To the mother of the young daughter who is super creative, the child who is okay with reading on the playground rather than in the gaggle of little girls… It’s okay. Who is a person? the body? the personality? the spirit? If energy is neither created nor destroyed, then when a person dies their energy just changes form. We know that the cells in the body are constantly turning over – still there is a unifying identity that does not change. Likewise, your daughter’s personality today is one form of a series of forms that has cohesive, unifying principles over time and over lifetimes.
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